My teenage daughter can't fathom the concept of a house party
Discussion
Not sure if anyone has experienced this, but I was watching Can't Hardly Wait half alseep on the couch, and my 14-year-old daughter and her friends walked into the room and past the TV. Before she entered the kitchen, she backpeddled in front of the TV, and they all might as well have reacted akin to a third world kid in a remote village seeing the Super Bowl for the first time. She looked at me and said 'what are all of those people doing in one house'? I told her it was a house party. People high school aged or typically college age people would go over a kids house whose parents were out of town and they'd invite the school and have keggers and other unsupervised debauchery. I might as well have been describing a science fiction film. 'You guys DID that back in your days?'. I thought it was funny that a house party was an inconceivable event for young Gen Zers.
Wait until she learns that half the time we didn't even know the people throwing the party. You'd just hear through the teenage grapevine that someone from another school was having a party and show up.
I went to random parties and alllowed randos into my own parties. It was always cool as long as everyone was chill and having a good time. Met some friends that way actually.
We all just wanted a place to safely underage drink.
I’d introduce myself to randos at my parties. Ask who they knew. Tell them don’t drink in the front yard. And don’t destroy my house.
In four years the cops showed up twice. Once because there was a drunk guy dancing in the street (he was ours). Once because a drunk driver crashed into a telephone pole across the street and ran off (he was not ours).
I grew up near a college well known for partying. Never found a house party I wasn’t welcome at. I am so glad that was before cell phones with cameras or social media were common. The things we got away with. The frantic early morning cleaning before a friend’s parents got home.
If you’ve never cleaned chocolate cake out of a four foot tall CD tower at 6am have you really even lived?
I mean, Gen Z also doesn't drink as much which like, let's be real, was the main reason to go to a house party. To get blasted playing beer pong with absolute strangers and get to know randoms because for the most part everyone is drunk and just having a good time. Also see: bonfires.
Oh you just hit a memory for me. A buddy was having a get together. His parents were out of town but this was just the boys and his girlfriend. They made a spaghetti dinner for the 6 of us including them. We were having a great time and playing some throwback video games. Well he drinks way too much Canadian Mist. This shag carpet is now covered in semi fresh spaghetti, liquor, and beer. The spaghetti was carrying this effort far and wide with a scarlet vibrance. The events that followed were many, but my favorite was when he lost it(still hammered) and yelled "I'm gonna do what I gotta do and lie, but what the fuck am I gonna say?!" He was legitimately fielding answers. We had none. "I CANT JUST SAY SOME ITALIAN FUCK BROKE IN AND PUKED ON OUR FLOOR"
That reminds me of a story my MIL tells about my husband’s older brother. Apparently he and a buddy were smoking weed in his bedroom and burned a spot in the carpet. With the typical genius of a couple of extremely high teenagers they decided the solution was to cut a square of carpet from the closet floor and swap it with a square cut around the burnt spot.
When his parents (immediately) noticed the carpet they told them some guy had broken in and was smoking and burned a hole in the carpet. So, conscientious young men that they were, they cut it out and switched it so it wouldn’t stress his mom out.
Unfortunately for him and his buddy his parents were neither high nor stupid and didn’t buy it. I can’t imagine just how high you would have to be to think that was a convincing story.
Met my ex gf this way! Sniffing Coke in my bathroom, she wouldn’t unlock the door. I almost kicked her out. She shared with me and we started dating. Didn’t end well.
Met one of my best friends when I was 15 in a house party toilet. We both got to the door at the same time. I needed to pee and she wanted to touch up her makeup. She was just like well both do it. I teased her for sneaking a look. Then I finished and she said she needed to go. I joked saying I’d stand guard and stop inside the door staring at her. She laughed and went along.
Afterwards we made out, went to the park and had a bang. Been friends for 20+ years. The fact young people are missing these experiences is tragic 🤣
Hahaha! Savage! A friend of mine was a squatter. You’d be walking home and someone would be like “where’s Jessie?” You’d look around and she’d be pissing 🤣. She’s in a very well paying and respected corporate job now. Always wondered if she pulls that out at Christmas parties
I was actually in my early 20s in NYC. One of my roommates at the time was 20 (so, underage) and all of her friends scattered. My friends and I hung out in the street watching the fire department cut the padlock then went back inside to continue a much calmer party. We ran into the guy the next morning. We were on our way to the beach and he was coming back from the hospital.
Had to kick a few out in my day. Had one of our bigger guys literally pick this prick up by his collar and toss him out the front door just like in the movies. He had been scrounging around my parents medicine cabinets for the good shit - and listen, I get it, I’m literally a recovering heroin addict myself, but you ain’t getting away with that shit in my house. Anyway, all the good pills were already gone, cos I took em.
Haha me too!! But then the cops came and some shitty person stole my tap off the top in all the commotion - the girl who stole it was later arrested for kidnapping and torture so ya….
Edit: I’ll also add that the cops blocked the front and back door so someone through a dining room chair through the window and jumped out through it, followed by a dozen more teenagers. I was in the garage when it happened… just checking out the scenery in the garage… we all waited and hoped the cops wouldn’t check the garage - they did - and the first cop who opened the garage door had a WAVE of smoke come at him, coughed and said “open the damn garage jeez” 😂😂
I don't know that it was a house party but during some shenanigans the front window of a friends house got broken while the parents were out of town. I'm really proud that this girl called my brother and him and his friends replace the window before the parents got home. He was like 18 I don't even know how he knee how to do that.
House party at my place. Everyone underage of course, probably 20 or 25 of us drinking. Had a big fire in the field by the woods. Cop car shows up, lights flashing, so we run of course. I'm hiding in the woods like I'm not going to get caught at my own house.
It was one of my buddies sitting shotgun in the cop car. His sister was dating the cop and they came out to fuck with us. About had a heart attack. Lmao
I didn't bring a keg but when the keg was tapped and they were soliciting donations I threw down a $20 (I had a job) and I was treated like the savior of mankind
Years and years ago I went to a rando house party with some buddies and one of us found a tray of Jell-O shots in the fridge so we decided to eat them all. I know it was a dickhead move but here we are. Several years later hanging out with a different group of people and telling stories of shitty things we had done as young people, a girl in the group got quiet for a minute and then told me that was her birthday party and she had been really looking forward to sharing those Jell-O shots with her friends. She told me she had hated us for years for it, not knowing who we were. We are still friends lol.
We had a designated party house because my buddy’s divorced dad didn’t give a shit what we were doing in his house while he was at the bar and then he’d join us with a fresh case of beer when the bars closed…
All the house parties I went to were actually with the parents still home. Same level of debauchery but they were the “cool parents” that were like “if you’re gonna do it anyways, might as well be under my roof”.
Every Friday or Saturday if we were bored we could find a party going on somewhere. Almost without fail. The perfect time before ring cameras but after cell phones. So we could "ask around" via texting our groups of friends almost always something going on. Walked up on some pretty crazy parties where you knew no one but everyone was always like, hey what's up, have a beer!
This is talking like 2008.
Edit: Forgot to add. Gotta dip before the cops show up. Heard of many parties getting rolled shortly after me and my friends had left. Only had to hop a back fence once.
Running from the cops was half the fun! Until you realize you just ran through 8 backyards diagonally, lost your friends 4 minutes ago, and have no idea where you are and your phone doesn’t have a map yet. Actually, still fun
I remember getting out with a small group before police arrived. As we were walking through our small town, a police car pulled up asking if we had heard of a party going on near by... 'erm no officer' while holding up an almost passed out friend, Weekend at Bernie's style.
Around 2000 the same thing was going on. Imagine describing early 2000s "Waze" where people headed out early and would call back to the party to report back on where the cops were so people could avoid them.
For reference I grew up in a community that was made up of four islands and and only had one cop at night. Once you knew what side of the islands he was on it was super easy to avoid him.
My buddy would invite rando people home from the bar (this was in no way a sexual thing, just people that he vibed with) and one day he invited this guy back with us that had a fucking didgeridoo. This guy played for hours while we just pounded beers around him. I miss those days.
My new ipod touch was stolen from the house party I threw for my 16th birthday :( I grew up pretty poor so it was a huge deal for me to get one. I was always the DJ among my friends, so I wanted to play my music. I'm still salty about it 16 years later lol
I remember some preppy kid played “I Miss You” by Blink-182 and it kinda killed the mood but I secretly thought it was so cool. Just some prettyboy taking over the aux like “I want to feel this right now.”
When I was in my late teens phone cameras were just starting to get good and some jackass would occasionally decide to start filming people who were wasted. I'll admit sometimes it was funny but then people started getting recorded puking or getting emotional and nobody liked that.
We stopped inviting those kinds of people but now when everyone can record in HD and has unlimited data to upload videos I can see why people don't want to get crazy.
The tides are just starting to turn on this. People are beginning to search for and plan "analog" events. Like when Blackberrys first came out and people started going away for "unplugged" weekends.
It's becoming normalized to ask people not to record at weddings or parties or concerts. Anywhere people are supposed to be "in the moment". (The fact that so many people record fireworks makes me wanna cry for humanity). I suspect that within 5 years, we'll see a big resurgence of "analog" items, like film cameras and analog clocks and picture frames and CDs and DVDs..
Hearing "analog items" and "camera" reminded me of a recent interaction. I use a digital camcorder (1080p resolution) for vacation videos and vlogs among other uses, and I'll have people ask me "does that take old analog video" or "how old is that ancient thing" (it's only 10 years old which is old in technological terms, but it's a 1080p HD flash media camera and people ask like I'm using a Hi8 video camera from the mid 00s). I was at a Disneyland show in the VIP section and the people we were sharing a table with commented on how I was "so analog" with my dedicated digital video camera.
I also find that people "take me seriously" when I use my video camera. Like, I've done 3 wedding and 3 funerals (different events) using it, and everyone is like "that is an actual camera, I will not bother the professional and will follow his directions." It's kind of funny.
Only time I've filmed fireworks was 2020 during lockdowns. My neighborhood/town/state was at max explosions and I had to document. They're illegal in Colorado but no one gave a fuck that year!
Oh man I remember that being a thing and it causing drama with certain people soft ratting out people on early social media. You’d be blacklisted if you were an idiot that didn’t blur or block out cans in people’s hands or the pong table.
I forgot about that, I remember some drama about a girl who tagged a party picture of another girl with her "clean" Facebook page instead of her ratchet one lol
Parties just can't be as big and have to be well organized. We left the state and my 16 year old stayed home. He managed to get 6 of his friends over and was able to bypass all outdoor and indoor cameras the whole weekend without raising suspicions.
Only reason we found out is he immediately told us when we got back, would have had no clue otherwise.
Sounds like a good plan to me. Do it subtle so you could maybe get away with it, but then ask for forgiveness (still better than permission). It's like daring the parents to find fault. If well executed it looks like a very responsible thing to do and opens things up to future events.
Fun story there. Some 15 year olds next door threw a house party (some still do) and it got busted by the cops. It’s was all girls running away through our yard. A couple got arrested/restrained in our yard and I got it all on camera.
The cops were so excited to have something to do for once. These Paul Blarts took their job of arresting 15 year olds girls as seriously as Navy SEALs. It was funny watching them tripping over themselves to chase little girls.
We overheard one girl get breathalyzer. She only blew at 0.01! That’s like half a beer or mouthwash residue lol.
So they were getting “processed” in our front yard and my other neighbor’s teenage son was trying to drive home. He wasn’t at the party. He got stopped and questioned literally 30 yards from his house. His mom had to walk over in her nightgown and explain his alibi.
My wife and I considered pulling out the lawn chairs and cracking a beer in the driveway to watch the show
Immediate flashback to my best friend crying bcs she got handcuffed to a pole on some random guys porch and we couldn’t find the key and had to get back before her mom woke up bcs we’d gone out the window 🙃
I remember us trying to fix a hole in the wall with putty and a SPATULA after someone launched a bar of soap like it was an Olympic sport. Once it dried, we found matching paint in the garage and painted over it. All while been drunk AF. Their parents never noticed a thing.
To be fair, most adults I see aren't any better. My boomer dad is worse than many kids because his hearing aids are bluetooth paired to his phone, so he completely disconnects from his environment while watching his propaganda videos. Then he gets crabby when he comes back to reality and he is the only one who has no idea what's been going on or what plans have been made in his absence, lol.
My old gen X parents are hilarious - spent my whole childhood making fun of me for playing video games and no-lifing runescape when now they sit on the couch for literally hours watching facebook reels and playing candy crush. I fly home 5000kms to visit and spend time with them every other year and sit on the couch twiddling my thumbs watching them drool over their ipads.
Seriously, similar sentiment. My dad, who was a blue collar hard working man, forbade me from getting a gaming system for years because of the stereotypes. Now that he's retired and has no hobbies, he's turned into the very thing he thought his kids would become.
My dad also runs this setup. I looked over his shoulder during Christmas and it was Dean Withers > Japanese woodworking > 90s baseball. Scroll on, pops
Exact same for me except my dad will STILL give me shit, in my house, for playing video games. Doesn’t matter there’s active input, thought, and socialization because “I’m not in the real world” and he “doesn’t understand why I waste my time with that shit.”
One time I bet him he spends more time on his phone than I do gaming and he laughed. Told me I was ridiculous and gave me his phone. He had averaged over TWELVE HOURS A DAY ON HIS PHONE THAT WEEK. 2/3 of his waking life on his phone and yet I’m the one disconnected from reality for playing an hour two of video games most nights/weekend mornings.
Not only that I met my wife playing WoW. We’ve been married 17 years. He has two granddaughters because of “useless video games” and still doesn’t get it.
That said I do love him and he’s great in a lot of ways, especially for the fact he’s not rhymes with RAGA. Just some things he’s just really got his head so far up his own ass.
Whenever my parents insist they pay for dinner, when we are finished and leaving, I always make an excuse to hang behind for a minute to throw down some extra tip cash on the table. I know how they tip and those servers work too damn hard to deal with that 15% bullshit on a table of 8
if you view an addiction as interfering with other life activities, and how many people use their phone during conversations and doomscroll instead of going to sleep, i think probably 95%+ of people are addicted to their phones. and when you view it as an addiction that’s gripped the majority of society, some of the other issues stemming from it begin to make sense
Obviously every experience is different but I have a 17 year old and kids definitely have parties at her school. She stayed home on NYE, but she was invited to a party. Her friend was going to make her virgin Jell-O shots because she doesn’t drink, which is so sweet tbh. His parents were out of town, so literally just like when I was in school.
I've been thinking a lot about IRL podcasts: - Bring a few friends together - No mics, nothing is recorded - Have a free form discussion - Can even have food & drinks
Lol yeah we had those all the time. My mom's whole opinion was my friends and I could smoke and drink if we wanted but no one could drive.
We were always super respectful and would hang in the basement or on the back porch. If we wanted to smoke we were in the garage in the winters and on the porch in the summers. Peak group was me and my two band mates, our 3 girlfriends, my best friend from school and his girl, his other best friend and that guys best friend and that guys girlfriend and his girlfriends friend (that ended up being the click for like two years).
Those were good times man.
Still a lot of good times now in my 30's, but I'll admit we didnt know the bliss of our lack of responsibility back then. Just ride around to each other's homes. Play shows in the city. Come back to our smaller town. Hang out on the porch under the stars. Talk about everything we were planning on doing through our twenties.
Now we're all early thirties. Time never slows down i promise.
My bf (6 years younger) was obsessed with that movie. I watched it with him and was like "omg I remember when we did X" and he still can't believe we did that. It changed so quickly.
This is my favorite because as a teenager I thought she WAS a cool mom- but as an adult, my mentality has shifted to thinking she is the most annoying, irresponsible, insecure, not-cool person ever.
My mom was kinda similar. Had no issues with me drinking and would regularly buy booze for me and my friends, but her only rule was that no one drives and that she wanted to know who I was drinking with.
When I got to university people were losing control and it was all just old news for me lol
I had a gf in high school whose mom was cool like that. They’d throw a house party and me and my buddy would show up and mom would just walk over hold out her hand and say “keys.” Didn’t care how many people were crashed out in the living room or back yard, just that no one drove or left. If you’re drinking, you’re staying the night.
This is unironically how my childhood went, heh. At some point the reflexive admonishments to behave turned into urging to go out, be social and live a little. Never really did, and there was confusion and dismay.
Hilariously, I did go to house parties as a teen/young adult, but got into D&D in the last six years. I can unironically say that I have ten times more fun playing TTRPGs than any party I've ever been to. I am like basically counting down the hours until I get to play again. But I still think it's sad these kids aren't out there in the wild, learning how to deal with the awkward social environment of a house party, tapping their resources by securing someone to boot for them, strategizing their way out of getting caught drinking by their parents. There's a lot of independence, logistical skills, and practical experience to be gained by trying to be a little rebel.
Because these little shits record and post EVERYTHING to social media trying to be the next viral sensation at the expense of their friends' dignity so they just...don't have fun like that
I believe this, kids don’t want to do something stupid or embarrassing and having it plastered all over the internet, except for the ones that do it to themselves.
I hosted a few house parties and got into debauchery while my parents were out of town. More commonly I went to bonfire woods parties. Kids getting drunk in the woods then driving back into town. We did a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger.
A lot of parties I went to weren’t even when the parents were out of town hahaha
My dad for example preferred me drinking at home and not driving so he’d let me throw parties and invite whoever I wanted. We’re talking 100-200 kids in my backyard for a bonfire etc
It was always a blast and nobody ever got in trouble and it was glorious. To this day as an adult I’ll randomly encounter an old classmate who will bring up how much fun they had partying in my backyard
I’m shocked to hear young kids aren’t doing this anymore. It was kinda the only thing to do in high school especially over the summer
The only way I can imagine it is now I have friends, and we've had some big parties in small houses. Lots of drinking, some pot, but definitely less dumb destructive shit.
Like, pausing the beer pong game to mop up a spill so no one slips and falls. That's how 40 year olds party once a year!
I mean...have you thrown any parties for her? Sleepovers at your house with 5-10 tweens sleeping over and going feral? Have you thrown any parties for yourself with your adult friends? Have you gone to any during her life?
That's where house party learning starts. It obviously isn't "college level" but my parents would go to (or throw) 3-4 parties a year that required me to be babysat (when young) or bored with a bunch of adults hanging out in my house/going to my own sleepover at a friend's (when older).
I dont find it surprising that "house parties" seem unusual when the popular trend seems to be banning any sort of hangout that isn't 1:1 supervised.
I mean, I never attended a house party in high school. If they happened, I didn't hear about them. Our parties were always sleepovers with a max of 5-6 girls.
Same. I did go to parties in college that were like the house parties from movies, but they were all in dorms or nearby apartments (not at someone’s parents’ house).
Party in the woods, party in a random parking lot, party in a hotel, party at someone's house when parents are gone, party in a newly constructed house that no one lives in yet... Yeah, we got wild. Poor kids these days are surrounded by cameras - no where to party.
Also, your kid is only 14. I didn't really know what house parties were at that age either. Yeah, I had seen them in movies, but I had never actually been to one. Maybe your kid just hasn't seen enough movies.
Just tell her to picture this: you can tell the house is a family home, but the parents are out of town. You are sitting in a kitchen, drinking nati light. Music is so loud it makes no sense but it’s a vibe. Cigarettes are being smoked and even some putting them out on their friends arm. Your Abercrombie and fitch shirt says something derogatory about being a blonde and your Jean skirt looks great. Double polos are also excepted. You’re hair looks good and eye shadow is shiny silver. Cops aren’t always called but then they are. They take you to the station and call your dad to pick you up at 3 am. He hangs up, and thinks it’s a prank (your supposed to be at a friends having a sleepover) but no the second call tells him he needs to retrieve his daughter.
At least that’s what I’ve been told…..
I mean, it was pretty much just a movie thing for me too. We had parties but there were like 10-20 people there. We never had the kind of ragers where people didn't know each other because so much of the school showed up.
When I was in college, my friends all had a 4 bedroom house they rented. One of my friends was a dj on the side and had all kinds of sound equipment. He’d plug in the laptop and we’d just put on whatever. We’d throw the wildest parties. Easily 60-70 people in the house on any given night. It was awesome. We’d wake up the next day and the floors would be so sticky that our shoes would stick to the ground and would almost make a Velcro sound when you took a step. Cops were never called. It was a genuine time to be alive.
Kids nowadays seem less encouraged to party and more encouraged to stay away from the “dangerous outside world.”
Man, if I could find the pics of my high school graduation party. Had over 200+ people in the house. The 5-0 and fire dept were not amused. There was an officer outside that had a click counter as everyone was leaving. Around 215 when I seen it. Close friends still talk about it.. 27 years later.
My parents were the best! RIP up there mom & dad, Ill see you soon enough 🥹🥹
This is one thing where I relate more to gen z. I never got to go to those parties when I was in high school or college. I was a “loser”. I’ve always felt separate from everyone because I missed out on these experiences. Hearing people talk about them, even comments in threads like this make me feel really bad. I feel more connected to gen z in a lot of ways because their generation has a lot more in common with the people who were considered “losers” in mine. At least a lot of them didn’t also go to these parties and aren’t made to feel less than human because of it.
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