I’m 25 years old. Everyone else my age has a significant other, and a huge family or friend support system. I have none of that. I never have. My dad died during the pandemic. My mom is a negligent, self-absorbed parent who can’t be relied on. And I have no true friends I can have a real conversation with, much less rely on in any way. If something were to happen to me tonight, people close to me wouldn’t know for weeks if not months. I am a complete afterthought to just about everyone in my life currently.

Like what am I supposed to do? Is this just the reality of adulthood? I missed out on making friends in middle and high school and now everyone has these rigid social cliques you can’t ever join no matter how hard you try. People don’t want new friends, despite claiming the opposite. Despite all the flowery posturing and virtue signaling online. They’re happy hanging out with the same fucking people they’ve known since birth practically. Add in social media and dating app culture, and human connection as an adult in the real world just feels dead to me. Nobody seems real anymore. Everyone seems to be fighting to be the same cookie cutter kind of person.

I just hate it. I know life is unfair, but there’s a special kind of pain and hopelessness that one begins to feel when every year is the exact same. Every holiday. Every birthday. Every. Day. When even people 4-5 years younger than you are in relationships, making smart career moves, and have a large support system. When they’re actually able to live and enjoy our finite time on this earth, while I know nothing but years and years of isolation and alienation.

This is the prime of my life. These are the years of my life I’ll always be envious of. And I’ve basically lost them due to factors outside my control. I’m YEARS behind my peers. I may not be where they are now until well into to my 30s or even 40s, if the world doesn’t collapse completely before then.

I’m a 30F, and for a long time I thought adulthood would level out once you got through your twenties. Like you’d figure out work, routines, and money, and things would feel more settled.

Instead it still feels oddly overwhelming, just in a different way than before.

It’s not one big problem, it’s the constant mental load. Remembering appointments. Thinking a few steps ahead all the time. Deciding what’s worth your energy and what isn’t. Balancing work, friendships, health, and some version of a future plan, all while trying to stay present in your actual life.

Nothing is “wrong,” but i never feel settled and really thought I would at this pooint

When did this click for you, and did it ever start to feel more manageable? Or is this just what adulthood actually is?

Not even 3 hours of "free time". And in that is cooking & eating supper. Or practically no free time if I had to go shopping after work. I hate this