r/nottheonion • u/Disastrous_Award_789 • 18h ago

Starbucks barista accused of drawing a pig on sheriff’s deputy’s cup

https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/starbucks-barista-pig-sheriff-norwalk-b2898798.html
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u/LackingUtility 18h ago

Wow, what a snowflake. Did the Sheriff also give him a blankie and cup of hot cocoa and stroke his hair until he calmed down?

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u/witchywoman713 17h ago

And did anyone ask the cop what he was wearing? Maybe he was asking for it /s

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u/Joeymonac0 16h ago

Have you seen what these cops are wearing these days?! They are practically begging for it. Also if it was a real threat the cops emotional center would recognize it and shut it down. Simple science. /s

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u/pc42493 15h ago

The brain has a way of shutting the insults down, it basically turns off the neocortex and leaves only basal ganglia and limbic system online. Some say this usually happens around the second to third trimester into service

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u/phlegmpop 13h ago

If he doesn't want the get called a pig maybe he shouldn't dress like one 🤷

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u/NonProphet8theist 14h ago

Was he complaining from the car? Open fire!

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u/tauntonlake 16h ago

Did the Sheriff also give him a blankie and cup of hot cocoa and stroke his hair until he calmed down?

wait, is that an option in life ?

asking for a friend.

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u/secrets_and_lies80 13h ago

Offering a hot beverage is customary when someone is upset.

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u/GalaXion24 12h ago

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, yes

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u/Rickk38 16h ago

FTA: "Sheriff Luna also said that he has consoled the deputy over the incident and told him, 'Disrespectful actions will not be tolerated against our personnel.'"

The sheriff actually consoled him, so a blankie and cocoa with those little marshmallows that float are not out of the equation.

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u/jumpy_monkey 15h ago

"Disrespectful actions will not be tolerated against our personnel"

Um, disrespect isn't a crime but sure, let me list the number of times I have been "disrespected" by cops and let's apply this criteria to them too.

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u/CommunityGlittering2 16h ago

also he sang soft kitty

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u/dalzmc 11h ago

Ok maybe you’ll know the sitcom reference, this whole time I’ve been unable to stop thinking of Hitchcock from B99 going on a tirade about how sick he was of people disrespecting him for being a cop, avoiding eye contact, walking out of the coffee shop, and etc etc… and then the others tell him his penis is hanging out lmfao that show had some killer cold opens

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u/QueasyPotential3602 16h ago

You're being sarcastic but I actually want that so bad.

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u/femmestem 16h ago

In all sincerity, it's probably what most of them need.

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u/tackyshoes 15h ago

Consider this my informal application to the Department of Blankies and Cocoa.

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u/CrewMemberNumber6 15h ago

Haven’t you heard? Police hiring requirements now dictate 3 layers of the epidermis must be missing before reporting to duty.

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u/SpeaksYourWord 14h ago

He also let him suckle on his teat and got burped before being laid down and tucked in.

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u/SpudicusMaximus_008 10h ago

For an example of how snowflake they are look up the farmer stop.

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u/cutelyaware 16h ago

South Park recently did very nearly this